Hey you! Ya, you! Down here. I know, a talking turkey is not something you see every day. So get over it. I heard that Thanksgiving is coming. Is that right? OH. This is worse than I thought. OK, human, we need to talk. I have a few reasons why turkeys should not be eaten on Thanksgiving.
First of all, look at all the other possibilities. Pizza and chicken are just two of the millions of options. Turkeys are plain and boring. Don’t you get bored eating turkeys every year? NO?! What is wrong with you! How are you not bored eating turkey every single year! I totally hate you now. Try something new. Don’t be so picky. Do you know what happens to people who are picky and boring? Do you? Since they are picky, they won’t get invited to anyone's dinner parties. They won’t eat anything.
Anyway, we do take an awful long time to cook and spice up, but then pizza saves the day! We take like 5 whole hours when pizza takes like a ½ hour, not even! You can also put anything you want on pizza! How great does that sound? You can put veggies, meat, or fish. I know, that sounds gross. But some people like it.
Also, EAT BILL!!!! Bill is my neighbor. He is a chicken who is very annoying and dumb. Look on the bright side. If Bill is gone then I get to stay in bed as long as I want. I won’t have to hear the words cocka doodle doo every morning at six a.m. WAIT!!!!!!!!!! I have one more piece of evidence. Bill and I are related. That means that we taste the same.
So, did I convince you? YES!!!!! Now I get to live an extra year. OH, and Bill is in his house over there. You can pick him up on the way out. Also, did you take a video? Can you post it on the web? I want to see if other people were convinced too. See you next year.
